Notebooks 1-6
True Life in God
5
What shall I say? Shall I think before or
during?
before;
(Jesus gave me an image of the scourging.)
having scourged Me, they spat on Me
and gave Me several hard blows on My
head, leaving Me dizzy; they kicked Me
in My stomach leaving Me breathless
and falling to the ground; moaning with
pain, they took sport in Me kicking Me
by turn; I was unrecognizable; My body
was broken and so was My heart; My
flesh, which was ripped off, hung all over
My body;
one of them picked Me up and
dragged Me because My legs would not
carry Me any longer; then they clothed
Me with one of their robes; they hauled
Me forward, repeating their blows,
hitting Me across My face, breaking My
nose, harassing Me; I listened to their
insults; daughter, with such hatred and
mockery their voices resounded,
augmenting My cup; I listened to them
saying,
“where are your friends
mustering while their king is with us, are
all Jews as treacherous as these ones?
behold their king!” and they crowned Me
with a woven crown of thorns, daughter,
“where are your Jews to hail you, You
are king are you not? can you mimic
one? laugh! do not cry, you are king are
you not, behave like one then”; they tied
up My feet with ropes and told Me to
walk to where My cross was;
daughter, I could not go since they
had My feet tied, so they hauled Me to
the ground and dragged Me by My hair
towards My cross; My pain was
intolerable, parts of My flesh which hung
from the scourging were ripped off;
they loosened the ropes off My feet
and kicked Me to get up and lift My
burden on my shoulders; I could not see
where My cross was for My eyes were
filled up with My blood which was
streaking down My face from the thorns,
which had penetrated My head; so they
lifted My cross and laid it on My
shoulders, pushing Me towards the
gates; daughter, O how heavy My cross
was which I had to bear! I felt My way to
the gates, led by the scourge behind Me,
I tried to see My way through My blood
which burned My eyes;
I then felt someone wiping My face;
women in agony came forth washing My
swollen face, I heard them weeping and
mourning, I felt them; “be blessed”, I
uttered, “My blood will wash away all
sins of mankind; behold daughters, the
time has come for your salvation”;
I dragged Myself up; the crowds
turned wild; I could see no friend around
Me; no one was there to console Me; My
agony seemed to grow and I fell on the
ground; fearing that I would expire
before the crucifixion, the soldiers
ordered a man called Simon to bear My
cross; daughter, it was not a gesture of
kindness or of compassion; it was to save
Me for the cross;
arriving on the Mount, they thrust Me
on the ground, tearing off Me My
clothes, leaving Me naked for every eye
to see Me, My wounds opening again
and My Blood flowing out on the earth;
the soldiers offered Me wine mixed with
gall; I refused it for deep inside Me I had
already the bitterness given to Me by My
foes; they quickly nailed My wrists first,
and after allowing the nails to set in My
cross, they stretched My broken body
and with violence pierced My feet
through; daughter, O daughter, what
pain, what agony, what torment of My
soul, forsaken by My beloved ones,
denied by Peter upon whom I would
found My Church, denied by the rest of
My friends, left all alone, abandoned to
My foes; I wept, for My soul was filled
with sorrow;
© Vassula Rydén
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