58 True Life in God Notebook 10 illuminate with My grace; 1 draw My sign; ichthis Vassula, start summarising the guidance and rewrite My Message; I will guide you, illuminating you; all that is repeated was for your education; you needed it; My Message is to be called Peace and Love; 2 (It’s terrible, I’m too realistic, too sceptic. I can’t help feeling again today doubtful that this is happening. Why, why is it that they believe so fully and constant, and I so inconsistent? I, who know very well that I can’t handle my hand, and know how powerless I become when God takes possession of my hand, how he can throw the pencil off my hand, and how he can move the pencil without me much touching it. It’s happening to me, He has given me so many proofs, and look, waves of doubt, still! And then many times thinking that I might be misguiding everybody! There are so many in this guidance I can't count! and it’s not even published ...) beloved, I am Yahweh; give Me your weaknesses and let My Strength annihilate them; (What patience God must have, with me, to stand me ... I think the main reason why I have doubts is because of me, because I know myself, I compare myself to those who got a supernatural approach to God and had received Messages , how good they were and how devoted. That is what strikes me, it’s like comparing night with day. I admit one positive thing though, at least I love God deeply, and no one can tell me 1 God made me understand that all those who read His Messages and do get illuminated (an attraction to God again) is enough sign that it’s He who feeds them and the Message is from Him. 2 With time Jesus is illuminating me that the Ecclesiastical Editions are also meant for Hebrews and Muslims! that this is my imagination or like one priest told me that even that the devil can put in your brain... If I was weak and listened to all what I hear I would have cracked up. Today I heard from a lady (who just started Freud) that all this could be in my subconscious, a love complex for God. Rubbish. To her, if we do have a love for God, it means we are psychologically sick? But her theory or Freud’s does not affect me a bit; firstly, God warned me of these theories already that I will be accused of, also I do not particularly like Freud since he was an atheist, even Jung left him! For Freud we appear to be only material!) My child, people always judged in human ways; I am a God full of Mercy and Love, but so little understood; But Lord, You have chosen a ‘no good one’, that’s what brings doubts to me! you are My daughter too! I love even the most wretched among you; April 10, 1987 remember My Crucifixion lasted for hours; I suffered many hours; all of My Blood was shed; I love you; come and console Me by loving Me; (Jesus was feeling sad, and was longing to be consoled. He constantly reminding me of His crucifixion these days and giving me images of it. Sometimes I feel His Presence so full that I think I could touch Him solidly, I could so to say feel the air moving when He moves producing it!) April 16, 1987 (Easter Thursday) Vassula, I was present in My Church; I walked before My Cross; I paused a few
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