20 True Life in God Notebook 111 __________________________________________________________________________________ 2005 April 26, 2005 Easter - Tuesday in Holy Week 2005 I Am; all I want is fidelity and love; keep secure My Word; Lord! How could I have still the strength to look and contemplate at the One who wounded my heart inwardly? You know, Lord Jesus, that I have not sweated to study and learn theology, Knowledge or Holy Wisdom; I lacked in Wisdom that comes from You; I lacked in everything Holy, nor was I ever known to be virtuous, but rather the opposite; and yet in this deplorable state of mine, You carried me on Your Wings in order not to tire myself; You offered me boundless graces, to hear You, see You, converse with You; - and together, Majesty, Counsellor and Lord of All, we soared the skies bringing me up in Your Celestial Courts, and in the spiritual life in You! Your Kingdom has come to me gratis…the upward path to life. You are known to test the hearts, so I invite You to test my heart since I know I have not performed any saintly act; I feel that I have not yet peeled off my faults but have the impression they grew larger; and as for Your commandments, I have suspicions that I have broken several ones; The path of life is to abide by discipline - have I kept my promises to You? have I fulfilled my vows at all? I doubt this as well; and yet, You are still with me, in spite of all my failures, Your Light is still embracing me, mesmerizing me with Your delightful Presence and by the way Your glance is upon me; You give me the impression that no one counts for You, that there is no one left on earth but me and that I am Your only love - singled out! Scriptures say1: "a man's spirit is the Lamp of Yahweh, searching his deepest self;" I need sound judgment from You, to counsel me where I lack and where I failed; All Merciful God, Protection of our life, have mercy on me the sinner; I have grafted you on me, to grow in My Spirit and in My Love; Vassula, love is above all; it enlivens all the other virtues; you see, My Sovereignty over all makes Me lenient to all; I govern everyone with great lenience, unworthy sinners you may all be, but My forbearance is great; this is to teach you how you should treat others; when you judge to reflect on My kindness, when you are judged to look for mercy; yes, I do allow Myself to test you to prove you worthy to be with Me; so do not let your hope to be void; coming to perfection is what I desire from all of you; seek to please Me for this is what I desire, persevere in the way of righteousness and I, the Most High will take care of you; again, do not be 1 Pr 20: 27.
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