Notebook 9 True Life in God 49 I want to tell You what is bothering me, probably everything I say or think is wrong so whatever I do will be wrong. It’s true I have no real support, by that I mean I am here, writing messages I receive from You. Now, others apparently had the same as I. Other guidances or messages that came from You to other people, but these people were mostly in monasteries or convents; they were surrounded by religious, priests, bishops, etc. when this supernatural approach was happening to them, they were watched carefully, followed closely, then it was easy to pass the writings to the Superiors and from there to the bishop and then to the Pope. They all accepted it as coming from You. I might be wrong, but it seemed easier for them to accept it from one of their circle whom they knew well and so it was edited; at least parts of it. They were approved. 1 Then here I am, I have approached priests. They happen to be Catholic, for me, as a Greek Orthodox by baptism, it does not matter what they are, even if I was Catholic and the priests would be Protestant I am not selecting; we are all Christians. Several priests know about it now. Each one’s reaction differs from the other like night and day. One of them to this day says it’s Evil, in other words I’m possessed, since I’m possessed by a spirit; but I know it’s You God Almighty. Having read a little he made up his mind and does not want to ever change it. When he’ll understand I’m not possessed, he’ll bring up that it’s my subconscious. Anything but You, then the reaction of another one was, “yes continue writing because it’s divine and from God”, so, he believes it’s God's words; but is too busy to ask or even to follow to find out the ‘suite’. This is what amazes me, if he believes God is trying to express a message, why then not bother more and find out what it is? A third priest was informed and listened dutifully looking now and then at his watch then, said, good, go on, it’s marvellous, continue writing, I asked him to come any time again and talk about it. I never saw 1And thus relieved for the Word can lay heavy. him again. Then another priest was informed, and he said, only reading a page or two, “I don't want to give any opinion, but we Catholics are warned that evil acts in the same way too; 2 not that I’m saying it’s evil but we are told to be careful.” Fair enough I said, but then since everybody agrees on one thing, and that is: that it is supernatural, why then not take it more seriously, to understand and clarify it? After all they are people who seek God, the first one who said it’s EVIL then told me, that God gives messages and there are many, many books with those messages all over the world, and it is very common; there are so many guidances in the supernatural way, so it is very common, but mostly in their circle. Another priest said they are called Divine Revelations of the Heart and they are from God; then he gave an address of one prof. mystic whom I can find and talk with. I know, that if I was ‘one of them’ I'd have it easier. It’s just that I’m out of their circle and my appearance too clashes. I am Jesus; Vassula, lean on Me and rest; era, O era have you given credits before even glimpsing on My words? are you seemingly glorifying Me and by defending Me unwillingly deriding Me? Vassula, I love you; lean on Me, beloved; Lord there are still other things, when I tell You or give You my feelings of doubt, I’m pretty sure I wound You, since I’m doubting, and if I’m not doubting, and it is not You in the guidance, I’m wounding You, because I’m doing this, so whatever I’m doing, I wound You, if I believe or not believe it’s you, whatever I think, I hurt you; and this makes me sad since I want to be the last one that would wound You! I suffer for this too. 2Maybe, but for how long? Until masses return to God? Because masses already have and it’s the beginning...
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