Notebook 48 True Life in God 485 only, shall be her only Love and Passion; and I shall send her with My Message to the ends of the world to conquer an irreligious people, and to a people who are not even her own; and voluntarily she will carry My Cross of Peace and Love taking the road to Calvary;” “And I, the Holy Spirit, shall descend upon her to reveal to her the Truth and the depths of Us; 1 I shall remind the world, through her, that the greatest of all the gifts is: LOVE;” “let Us2 then celebrate! let all Heaven celebrate!” ... I have taken you by the hand and formed you to become a living sign of My Great Love; – a witness of My Sacred Heart, and of the renewal of My Church; (The Father, then the Son, then the Holy Spirit spoke.) I am the Resurrection; (Explanation of this message: In the beginning when I was suddenly approached by my guardian angel to open the way for the Lord, I, as a ‘professional’ sinner, had no love for God. Even when my angel was telling me things about Heaven, I was just satisfied to be together with my angel. I was not looking for more. When God approached me, replacing my angel, I was somewhat disappointed. I felt Him as a stranger whereas having already been acquainted with my angel, my surprised feelings had turned to love feelings. And then I could not understand why God wanted to take my angel’s place. I even went as far as to believe that God was jealous of the love I was giving to my 1The Holy Trinity. 2The Holy Trinity spoke. guardian angel and I felt sorry for my angel. Later on, after a very painful purification given to me by my angel, God approached again for the second time to take my angel’s place. He stayed with me for a few days, opening my heart slowly, and with Wisdom, so as not to frighten me away. When I’ve just about started to open for Him, He ran away and hid. I turned around to look for my angel and I could not find him either. I felt a few souls3approach me, begging me for prayers and blessings. I prayed for them and blessed them. Then they asked me to bless them with holy water. I ran quickly to the church to fetch holy water for them, and I blessed them, sprinkling on them holy water. I took the opportunity to ask them whether they had seen where my angel was and The One whom my heart already begun to love, but I did not get an answer. Every day that went by seemed like a year. I was looking for Peace and I could find none. I was surrounded by many people and many friends but I never ever before felt more lonely and abandoned as those days. It was as though I was going through hell. Many a time, I cried out for my angel to come back to me, but no, he had turned his back and was gone! “My soul failed at his flight. I sought him but I did not find him, I called to him but he did not answer.” (Song of Songs 5:6.) I roamed for three whole weeks in the desert all by myself until I could not bear it any more. Then out of my distress I cried out to Yahweh, searching Heaven: “Father! O God, take me and use me as You wish, purify me so that You are able to use me!” With this cry coming from the depths of my heart, suddenly Heaven opened, and like Thunder the Father’s Voice full of emotion cried back to me: “I, God, love you!” Instantly I felt as though I dropped out of a tornado into a beautiful, peaceful world. My angel re-appeared and with great tenderness started to dress my 3From purgatory.
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