Page 132 - True Life in God (Volume 6)

True Life in God

Notebook 105

1074

Lord, Your visits have resurrected me and I

give glory to Your infinite Mercy. Yet, Lord,

I still have another question:

How is it that if You say that through my

mouth Your Words will resound and give

effect to many, Your Words sometimes,

even spoken with fervour, have so little

effect; even coming from the Godhead

Himself, filling my heart with divine Love

do not affect everyone? Yes, and even there

are some souls who do not seem to

penetrate in Your Word but remain listless;

is Your athlete running in rounds in empty

circles?

My lips are eager to proclaim Your

righteousness, Your marvels, and I had

hoped to receive a sympathetic response so

that it consoles You, bringing You out of

Gethsemane and allowing You to breathe

some fresh air instead of the bitter and

agonising air of Gethsemane;

I feel sometimes that Your athlete is

failing You and a lot of athletic work goes

in vain; I am labouring and I am spent to

obey Your Command to revive, embellish

and unite the Church, rebuilding the

structure of the Church, by the power of the

Holy Spirit; I am trying to follow faithfully

Your Command to me, but it seems that

after a lot of sweat and with a lot of

struggle, having re-modelled part of a wall

of the structure, lo and behold who comes

trotting along? Oppressors; oppressors

appear in the night to demolish with one

blow the freshly built wall; having put all

their emblems on to show their authority,

they slither like snakes and do their job; all

the sweat and blood shed all these years,

has it been in vain?

If the demons did not choose men to

accomplish through them their evil mischief

then who is it that dictates to these people

these heinous crimes and these diabolical

frantic actions?

Tell me, Lord and Sovereign, have I met

with Your demands? Have I at all done any

visible structure worthy of honour for You?

Are my eyes lingering on inanities

perhaps? Has unity seen any light or

progressed an inch or two? With all the

graces I received have I done anything at

all to honour You? Or am I turning in

circles? You endowed my spirit with a

prophetic gift, what have I given You in

return, my Lord, for all that You have

adorned me with in Your exuberant Love?

In which way have I been negligent?

You, who raise kings to thrones, are

known that if they grow proud of their

unending sway, then You fetter them with

chains, binding them in the bondage of

distress;

I am a witness and I can witness that I

have seen and watched great men fall

when they did not listen to You; Your

divine justice fell on them like a thunderbolt

destroying them together with their pride.

Yet, Your Mercy did not lack to show them

several times all that they have done and

all the sins of pride they were committing.

In earlier days I had to suffer to learn

not to stray from You; in later days I still

suffered to see the arrogant offending You;

these days I still suffer to watch so much

indifference shown to Your Merciful Call;

Suffering has become my daily bread....

I have given you the Source

1

of prophecy

and through His teachings and good

counsel you have given Me your heart

and your will; these two things suffice

for Me; as for your failures and your

lacking, I filled where you lacked, and in

My exuberant love I have for you it

obliged Me to take care Myself where

you had failed Me; in My fatherly Mercy

I looked upon all your negligences as a

father would look upon the negligences

of his own little child: with compassion

and ever so ready to help out with

tenderness, whispering soft words of

love so as not to frighten you away while

showing you once more how I care for

you and for your own progress;

as for the afflictions you suffer for the

sake of My Church and for My Sake, My

sister, My cathedral, do not despair; with

one single of My glances I rebuild what

has fallen; I have once shown you My

Cup, and I was beckoning to you to

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That is the Holy Spirit.

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